So I have been writing some stuff since I first posted, writing out all the different stories and experience, but came to the conclusion that to include all my college stories in one post was crazy because each one is rather long, and nobody would want to read ALL of it. So this post is about my mock exams at the end of my first year at college, which was really the first time things started to go wrong. I know some people may understand and some people may not, but that's okay as the whole point of this blog is to raise awareness and help people see it from my perspective.
In the move between school to college, a plan was put in place to ensure I had the right conditions in place for not only my exams but classroom arrangements too.
In my mock exams at the end of my year one, my conditions were supposed to be sorted. However, when I arrived at my exam I was met with my worst nightmare at that point; a high ceiling room, in a basement, that echoed loudly and I was in that room with around 20 other students. I had revised so hard for these exams and was extremely stress, as were all the students in that moment.
I started to get upset, but asked to speak to the exams office. In that moment I was stressed, tired due to taking various tablets for other ongoing medical conditions, and very aware that most students had started their exams. I was told quite harshly to stop crying and was told that they obviously did not have the right arrangements and there was nothing they could do about it now. I was offered to take my exam in a room with students who also had extra time, in carpeted, low ceiling room, the slight twist…it was a room of students who were working on computers. At that point I decided that this was my best option, but just ended up turning my hearing aids off, which can be disorientating – for those who do not have hearing impairments, think of it like this…you are turning a whole sense off. At this point I was disorientated, stressed, upset, and fed up really, but I took my test anyway.
I miraculously ended up passing with a grade C, however it really knocked my confidence in taking exams. This was in a subject I usually got grade A’s in. My teacher for this subject supported me, and by the end of my two years was really the only reason I was still at college. Being in a place, where you feel like the system and people are against you, to have someone who stopped at nothing to help you, in any subject, not just their own, was a thing I cannot even put into words. I have only ever had two teachers like that in my years of education – my secondary school music teacher and my college sociology teacher (the person I am talking about above).