Last night, I wrote a new blog post and handed it to my Mum to read part way through, and then once I'd finished I handed it to my Dad to see if he could help cut it down - I have a tendency to babble!
When I came back after doing another job, he'd taken what I'd wrote and put it into his perspective.
After reading it through, we both agreed it, wouldn't be great for everyone to hear something from a parents perspective?
So here's a treat for you, something a little different - here's what he wrote...
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My dad read my original thoughts and said I needed to make it simple stupid – say it in a few words this time rather than a full-blown blog, so here goes.
I could comment on a few negatives, but for a change I will focus on the positives:
· Rose has manged to catapult that being deaf is ‘normal’
· Learning a little bit of sign can be fun and easier than you think
· Being inclusive shouldn’t be a barrier
My dad wrote this blog because he’s awesome (his words not mine).
I have watched my daughter struggle, adapt and grow with her hearing loss. There have been many tears and plenty of laughs and at one time if I had a wish would rather, she never had become deaf.
Recently though that has changed.
I have finally accepted her deafness as part of who she is. The same way people have always seen me wear glasses, and apart from the physical difference, why should it be any different?
The pandemic has caused her, a whole load of additional issues, mainly around the mask wearing and being unable to lip-read, but I have seen her adapt, adapt the way she interacts and adapt to the different situations. As a dad though, why should she, why should anyone, we all understand why, but like most ‘hidden’ disabilities, it’s not thought about, because it’s someone else’s problem.
What I do notice is the difference she makes to other people. Whilst at her previous job, she got colleagues to learn some signing. She was recognised within the company for this, she goes on the local radio station to talk about it and how it affects everyone. People who know us, contact me to say what an ambassador she must be for the Deaf community.
Rose Ayling-Ellis from Eastenders and Strictly Come Dancing has probably made more of an impact for the whole deaf community more than anyone else. She has shown it can be useful to know how to sign and dare I say now, even trendy. When Grace was growing up, I could have only dreamt for a role model like Rose for my daughter, we may all have accepted her deafness as being part of her, as a blessing rather than an issue, earlier than we did. It would have helped with all the struggles she faced through school and college. But, as they say, better late than never.
Grace would say we need to get back to being more inclusive. Society is not and has never been inclusive of anything. There is always my ‘tribe’ and them over there who are not my ‘tribe’. What Rose has done, and I sincerely wish will continue is blur the lines between ‘tribes’, educating and making it all a bit “normal”.
I use the word normal because what is? When Grace was ill, we were told things would get back to normal. But after everything, that was our new normal. I hate hearing phrases like ‘they are not normal’ or ‘that’s not normal’. Well, I hope that some signing and understanding of Deafness becomes a new ‘normal’.
Finally, I will briefly mention subtitles. When Grace added them to TV channels, Netflix, Now TV etc, it did my bloody head in, they were annoying and got in the way of watching the programme/film. Now I accept them, find them useful and in some cases even criticise if not being done correctly. So, if any young person needs someone to push their cause to their parents about having subtitles turned on, let them read this bit. ‘Parent – it’s the least you can do’!