I want to talk about something I’ve been a bit hesitant about sharing, I was worried how people might take it, and I didn’t want to put this feeling on anyone else. But then I remembered why I started this blog – to help others feel less alone, while spreading awareness – so here we are!
Previously I’ve spoke about how difficult it can be working in a supermarket, and everyone wearing face masks right now, stops me being able to hear any sort of sound, vibrations or the ability to lip read. But I want to talk about how this really makes me feel!
When I see someone walking towards me with a mask on, I start to panic. I feel red, I go hot, and sometimes feel like I want to cry. I can see people’s eyes and cheek bones move, so I know they’re talking, but I have absolutely no idea what they’re saying, and that is so frustrating. I have to ask a colleague to listen for me, pass the customer on, and I feel embarrassed, straight up embarrassed. People tell me I don’t need to be, but all I want to do is communicate with someone and help people, to do my job, and right now I can’t do that.
I feel angry at the situation, angry at everyone wearing masks, angry that I have hearing loss – and that is something I’ve never felt before, until now! But it’s nobody’s fault, there is nothing anyone can do, and that is the most frustrating thing about it all.
I don’t want to offend anyone, and I completely understand that the masks are protection for everyone. I’m putting this post out there because I think I highlight positives in my posts, and I want to show that it’s not always easy, that it can be struggling and upsetting, but sometimes there’s not really anything you can do, and that’s frustrating.
Although I’m nervous about posting it, I want those who have hearing loss to know it’s okay to feel this way, it’s okay that those who have full hearing won’t always understand, but if you want someone to talk to, or rant to, I’m here. There are so many people out there who will, you’re not alone with your feelings!